Sneak
by ElizaBeGood
Summary: Your name is Jake English, and you can't believe your boyfriend cheated on you, but he did. When things go horribly wrong, you only have one person to turn to. M for language, violence, and lemons in future chapters. PistolBlades and Windicuffs. Author: ZaffleBirdie
1. 1 Caught in the Moment

**A/N- I had some free time today, so I started a new story! I love Dirk, I didn't want to make him the bad guy, but I needed a plot. Sorry. I don't own Homestuck.**

**Sneak**

**By ZaffleBirdie**

You sit on the couch and are dumbfounded. You just found some tapes hidden in the back of your closet about ten minutes ago and you decided to check them out. You never expected this and it makes you sick to your stomach.

Your name is Jake English, and your boyfriend is a sneaky little cheat.

You turn of the tv and pace the room. How could he do this to you? He was always checking in on you, wondering where you were. You used to think it was a bit overbearing, but cute. You thought he was making sure you weren't cheating on him. You were wrong. That bloody liar was making sure he wouldn't get caught!

You could hear the front door open, and your heart rate skyrockets. Your face heats up and you can feel yourself become even more infuriated at the sound of his voice.

"Jake? Sweetheart? Are you home?" He calls out.

You emerge from the living room, absolutely livid. "Yes, dear," you spit, your voice laced with venom,"I've been waiting for you." You walk up to him and place your arms around his neck, standing in your toes to match his gaze. "Where have you been?" You say, the fake sweetness making the words sound harsh.

"Visiting a friend. He was having trouble with his TV set so I went to help him." He grabbed your waist and shuffled you to the kitchen with him.

You let go of him and leaned against the counter. "Is this the same friend who's computer crashed last week, and who's walls needed to be painted the week before, and who's kitchen needed to be retiled the week before that? The friend that I still haven't meet even though you swore I knew all your friends?"

He looked at you like you were speaking another language. "Yeah, he just got a new house. It needs a lot of work. He's really shy though."

"Well, why don't you invite him over sometime, we could end up being the best of chaps!" You nearly yell.

"Woah, Jake, is something wrong?" He finally noticed your irritation.

You face is extremely red by now, "Cut the bullshit, Strider. Tell me what your hiding and I might forgive you."

Dirk winced, he knew you never cussed unless you were really pissed. He quickly examined you, noticing that you had your holster on and your pistols were settled inside.

"I see you have your guns with you. You look really sexy when you have your guns out," the nervous blond said, avoiding your demands.

You pull one of your pistols out of its resting spot and examine it before taking a up your shooting position and aiming at the dirty cheat.

"You've always known just what to say around me. I never suspected anything."

Dirk raised his arms submissively, and a smirk spread across his face, "Okay, I see what's going on. You want to do some of that kinky BDSM shit, huh? Alright, just make sure you have the safety on, last time was way to close of a call for my taste."

Your scowl didn't leave you face. There's no way he could be serious! His arms slowly lowered to the side as he realized you weren't smiling, and it became apparent that you weren't going to even consider putting on the safety on.

"I found the tapes, Strider. You have a lot of nerve to think you could hide something like that," Your posture is perfect and your aim doesn't waver. Your mind has gone completely blank aside from one thought: You're going to kill Dirk Strider for breaking your heart.

"English, what are you talking about? Just put the gun down and we can talk about this crazy delusion your having," Dirk demanded.

You begin to shake a bit,"You cheated on me you bloody scum-bag! I found the tapes! How much of an idiot can you be? Why the hell would you tape it? Why would you keep the tapes _in your own boyfriend's fucking closet?"_ You throat begins to throb from screaming.

"Jake, I-" he began to say.

"No! Just shut up! I don't want to hear it! You know, this whole time I thought you were afraid it would be me in this position. I mean, you were always calling me, asking me where I was. You were just covering your ass! I say, Strider, my finger's starting to itch a bit", you say, moving your index finger from the barrel to the trigger. You see Dirk's orange eyes grow wide behind those stupid anime shades. You despised him.

"You wouldn't dare, English." He knew he was in trouble, resorting to calling you by your last name.

Your eyes narrow and you lower the gun a bit so it's pointing at his heart, or what would be his heart if there wasn't a black void there. "Oh, really? Watch me."

Everything seemed to move in slow motion. You could count every second. 1...You take your stance...2...You finger pulls back...3...There's a loud bang...4...Dirk begins to fall. Every moment after speeds up, and you feel like you don't have any time.

"Shit, shit, shit!" You pace the room. You didn't plan on doing it. You were going to keep the safety on, just scare him a bit. When you took it off, it just felt so...right. You got so caught up in the moment, and now there was a dead body on your kitchen floor, spilling blood all over the place.

You begin to hyperventilate. You turn the safety on and return the gun to its holster. You rush to your room an pull out a duffle bag, filling it with clothes, your cell phone, and toiletries, as well as several other essentials.

You stop and run a hand through your dark brown hair, messing it up more than it usually is. You have know idea where your going to go. You just have to leave.

You get in your car and begin to drive. Out of the corner of your eye, you spot the picture you keep in the sun visor. You pull over on a country road and take the picture out.

A young man with dark hair matching yours has his arm wrapped around you. He has a huge grin plastered on his face, showing his buck teeth. His eyes were squeezed shut behind square glasses.

Your name is Jake English, and you need to go see your ex-boyfriend.

Jake: Be the dorky guy.

**A/N-So this is just a bit of sadstuck drabble...well, more like angst stuck. I felt really successful when I gave this to my friend and she said she was going to punch me in the face. Mission accomplished. Please review, favorite, and/or follow so I know how I'm doing. There will only be two more chapters in this, but it might not be posted for a while since I still need to work on Irreplaceable. Thanks for reading!**

**~ZaffleBirdie**


	2. 2 Seeking Refuge

**Disclaimer: I don't own Homestuck or the characters. **

You lay on the bed in your small, three-room apartment. It's almost ten-o-clock at night. You are looking at a picture of your ex-boyfriend. He has, well, had a copy of the picture. You're pretty sure he destroyed it when he split.

Your name is John Egbert, and you don't know why you're putting yourself through this pain.

Jake left you two years ago, but it still hurt. You weren't fully over him. He had left you for some tool who wore pointy shades and loved puppets. At least he had the decency to break up with you before started anything with him._ That doesn't make it right, though, _you argued with yourself.

You hear a knock on the door and shove the picture in your nightstand. You don't know who could possibly at your place this late at night. Rose had a night shift at the hospital, Jade was probably already asleep, and Dave was most likely highlighting as a DJ in some hyped up club. You didn't have any other friends, so you were utterly clueless.

When you get to the door, you look through the peephole. A man with mussed brown hair is standing outside with a duffle bag. He looks frantic. His shirt and green jacket are wrinkled, as well as his khaki shorts. Your heart nearly stops.

"Why the hell are you here?" you shout through the door.

You can tell he is very frazzled when he speaks, "John! I know we got off on bad terms, and I'm really, truly sorry, but could you please let me inside? You know, now!"

You sigh and slowly open the door, but Jake rushes in. He runs around the room, examining everything before placing his bag down and sitting on the couch. The older man buries his face in his hands, and you stare at him. The two of you stay like that for a while, before he looks up.

"I've done something really bad, John."

This frightens you. You swallow hard and ask a question you wish you didn't have to. "Like, robbed a liquor store bad, or..." Your voice trails off.

"John, it's lifetime in prison bad." He returns his face to his hands and you can see he's shaking.

"Fuck...what the hell did you do, Jake?"

When he finally speaks again, his voice is higher than usual, "Dirk cheated on me. I found out earlier today," he takes a sharp breath and his voice cracks, "I didn't mean to! It all happened so fast!" He's practically about to burst into tears.

It takes you a second to comprehend what he's saying, but when you do, the world around you goes hazy.

"Jake...please tell me you didn't."

He just nods, and curls into himself a bit more.

"Holy shit, Jake! I always knew you were trouble. I always told you, 'keep the guns out of the house!' Did you listen? Of course not! N-now you've done it! It was only a matter of time before you snapped! I hated that man for stealing you from me, but he didn't deserve this!"

"John, I know I have no right to ask, but you're my only hope. May I _please_ stay here?" Jake emerald eyes were staring at you, full of regret and fear.

You sigh, you know you shouldn't. Harboring a criminal is illegal. "Why me? You left me, Jake, so why should I be punished by your presence." You were going to say yes, but you needed a reason first."

He placed his elbows on his knees and wrung his hands, "This least important reason is that you live in a small apartment in a small town away from everyone. The most important reason," he paused, "is because I still love you. I never stopped, but Strider, he captivated me. Now I realize it was all manipulation."

You're frozen to the spot and you feel a bit dizzy. You only now realize he's holding a photo in his hands. The same one from your drawer. He still loves you. The room goes black.

Your name is John Egbert, your murderous ex-boyfriend loves you, and you just passed out.

== John: Be the guy worried about the unconscious guy (you).

**A/N- I've been thinking about this story a lot, and I think I might make this multiple chapters. I don't know, we'll see as it goes on. Please review, follow, and/or favorite, so I know how I'm doing! Thank you for reading!**

**~ZB**


	3. 3 Reaquanted

**A/N- I promised my morail, SydneyLovable, that I would put a weird description in this chapter. See if you can find it. Also, I apologize for the wait, I accidentally deleted half of it while copy-pasting it to the site. I've been working off my iPod so there was no recovering it, that I knew of at least. If you haven't read about them in Irreplaceable than let me say again that you should go see Gravityisabully. They are absolutely amazing and you should read their stories!**

**Disclaimer: Hussie owns Homestuck. He's so lucky.**

* * *

You managed to screw things up...again. You showed up at your ex-boyfriend's house, you admitted that you killed someone, and you confessed your love. To top it all off, said ex-boyfriend is currently passed out on the floor. Real smooth.

Your name is Jake English, and you don't think you could be more pissed at yourself.

You get up and grab a hand towel from the bathroom. You wet it before returning to John and placing it on his forehead. He looks so peaceful, his chest slowly rising and falling. If you didn't know better, you might say he simply chose to sleep on the ground.

You patiently wait for him to come to, but your eyes slowly become heavy. Your head snaps up a few times, before you finally fall asleep.

== Jake: Be the unconscious guy.

* * *

You cannot be the unconscious guy, because he just woke up and is no longer unconscious. However, you are now John Egbert.

You wake with a start. You had a nightmare that you couldn't breath, you were weighed down and suffocating. You look down and realize why. A very cute man with dark hair that matched your own had fallen asleep on your chest. Jake always did chose the weirdest places to rest. You smile at the memory and wonder what he was doing there.

The previous night crashed over you like a wave. Your breathing quickens but then slows as Jake moves. His Expo-marker green eyes flutter open and he grins at you. You return the gesture.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty! Try not to prick your finger again. You don't want to bump your noggin when you fall, do you?" he's smiling as if everything is okay. Almost as if he doesn't quite remember the previous day.

You gently flick his nose, then fix his askew glasses. "I'm not a princess, jerk," you mock. "The answer is yes, by the way."

Confusion is written all over his face. "And the question would be?"

You giggle. He really didn't remember. He was always so forgetful in the morning! "Whether or not you can stay here, of course!"

You watch as realization dons on him.

"You're really fine with it? I mean, after what I did, you aren't afraid?"

You nudge him off of you and move to the couch. "Nah. You're only a threat when you're pissed, and I, for one, know that isn't often. Sure you give threats, but you wouldn't hurt a fly unless you were out hunting in a "controlled environment" as you call it. This was a special case. Besides, it's not like you have your guns with you!"

You chuckle, but he refuses to meet your gaze and doesn't say anything. "Oh, Jake, tell me you didn't."

"What was a supposed to do?" He began to pace the room, obviously worried about anything he might have missed. "If I left my guns, they would've known it was me!"

"First of all, they can still trace the ballistics to your gun, and second, you really don't think they already know it's you? Dirk, or whatever the hell you said his name was, is dead in your shared home! You disappeared right after! How on Earth could it not be you!" The more you think, the more you become aware of how stupid it is to keep Jake here.

"I left a note."

You laugh mockingly, "Yeah, Jake, 'cause a note's going to make the police rule you out! 'It must have been the boyfriend!' 'Wait, sir, he left a note!' 'Egads, your right! It can't be him!'"

Jake ran his hands through his hair, "Not to the police, to Dirk saying how I was tired of him disappearing for days on end. I wrote that I was leaving on a road trip to clear my head, that I was leaving on the ninth, three days before it happened if you didn't do the math. It's the thirteenth now so I've been 'gone' for four days. I told him to be careful since our neighborhood wasn't so great. I wasn't lying. There have been several robberies in the past few weeks. It was dark when I left, so no one would've seen me."

You rise from the couch and head for the bathroom. You shout back, your voice irritated, "Like I said, you now where everything is. If the door rings, hide. I need some time to myself."

You shut the door to the bathroom but don't lock it. Jake's polite enough to knock.

It's a very small place, but you manage. You've never had someone stay with you for long. None of the partners you ever had really stuck around. Dave: College fling, the two of you regressed to friends after graduation. Karkat: too short of a temper, too many fights. Jake: well, that story's already been told.

You strip down and get in the shower, the warm water melting away your tension. You stand under the calming stream and close your crystal blue eyes. You feel relaxed, like nothing bad ever happened. Bad? What's the meaning of that word?

You're interrupted, though, when a knock comes from the door. You sigh. _Goddammit_. He always does this.

"What do you want, Jake?" Your voice comes irritated from behind the sound of splashing water.

The door tentatively opens, and that's when you freak out. You grab the semi-transparent aqua curtains and wrap them around yourself. "What the hell, Jake? I said 'what do you want' not 'come on in!'"

Jake looks away slightly, for your sake, not his shyness. "I'm sorry I thought it would be fine."

"How is this possibly 'fine'? I'm in the shower!"

His gaze drifts to his feet. "Well, we used to do this all the time, so I thought you'd be okay with this. I wanted to take a shower and I figured we could save some water, seeing as you can barely afford this small apartment. No offense."

You glare at him. "Where do you get off? Did you ever stop to think that I chose this apartment for a reason other than money. I have a job and it pays well! Also, you coming in here is unacceptable! We were dating when we did that." There goes your promise. You get quiet and pull the curtain back to its original place before continuing your routine.

You hear Jake shuffle towards the shower. "I thought that...well, you know...when I told you I loved you, that you-"

"That I loved you too?" you cut him off. "Get out."

"Like _out_ out? John, it's dangerous! I didn't mean to cross any lines." His voice is frantic and desperate.

You sigh. "No, dumb ass, I meant out of the bathroom."

You hear more shuffling then the door opening and shutting. You step half way out of the shower and lean over to lock the door. You continue to wash your body and your mind wanders. What if you let him join you? Would he actually shower and keep to his side, or would he pull you into his arms. Would he kiss you gently like he used to? Would his hands roam your body, lightly scratching and grabbing? Would he press you to the wall and- fuck.

You soon realize you're painfully hard. Even after two years he can still do this to you. Hell, the moment you saw him you wanted to jump his bones. You wanted him to hold you and to whisper sweet things to you. You wanted things to be normal again.

You wrap your hand around yourself and begin to pump. You shut your eyes and its no longer your hand, but Jake's. Your head rests against the wall of the shower. You're panting hard and his name is on the tip of your tongue. You refuse to say it, though. You don't want him to hear. You don't want to give him the satisfaction of constantly being on your mind. You cum soon enough, letting out a strangled groan.

You finish your shower and wrap a towel around your waist. You drape another one over your sopping mess of hair. You place your glasses on your nose and leave to your room where you change into your signature ghost t-shirt and jeans.

You exit the room and find Jake lying on the couch, staring at the ceiling. You walk over and sit on the floor near his head. He either doesn't notice you or is ignoring you. You move a strand of ivory hair away from his forehead and stroke his head. "I'm really sorry, Jake. I was kind of harsh back there. This whole thing is kind of confusing to me. I don't really know what to tell you now, but just give me some time. Things will get better, I promise."

His head turns to you, and his expression is solemn. "No, John, you had every right to say all that. I crossed the line and I'm sorry. I guess I just wish I could go back to the way things were. I wish I never meet Dirk. I wish I stayed with you. I wish everything was normal again." He sighed and returned his gaze to the ceiling.

A sudden knock came from the door that startled the both of you. Jake immediately bolted towards the closet.

"John! Fuck, oh my god! John, please let me in! Something really bad happened, and I really need to talk to you before I breakdown in tears, completely uncool and unironic!"

== John: Answer the frantic cool kid.

* * *

**A/N- Welp that took a while. Why am I so lazy? Sorry 'bout that! Anyways, please review, follow, and/or favorite? Feel free to ask me questions in the reviews or PM me. If it's in the reviews, I'll answer in an A/N, and PM's will stay private. Thank you for all the follows! It means a lot! And one more thing, I'm going on vacation soon so their might be a 20 day hiatus. I might be able to update, but I'm unsure. I promise I'll try to update one more time before I leave, though. If I don't, automatically assume I'm gone. **

**~ZaffleBirdie**


	4. 4 Found

A/n- Thank you to those who did review! It means a lot! Although, I do wish more of you would review. I'm very insecure about my writing and I need feedback. I hope I'm not being mean by doing this, but someone else did and got results, so...I'm not going to update unless I get reviews. I'm really sorry, but I don't know what else to do. Also, if Jake was out of character, it should be a bit better now. Not perfect, but better. If you haven't noticed, I'm not too acquainted with him.

* * *

Megahit1324: O3O it's a reviewer...thank you...SO much! You don't sound weird, trust me! I'm glad you're willing to sit through my ships for the sake of the story. I ship DirkJake, too. I saw pictures of Windicuffs and I was like "so cute, it's perfect excuse to continue my oneshot!"

* * *

You recognize the voice coming from the door. It's none other than, Dave Strider, your best friend and ex-boyfriend, but you don't like to talk about that last part. Something's wrong, he's obviously upset, but you don't know why. You have half a mind not to answer.

Your name is John Egbert, and you don't think you can deal with yet another person's problems.

Despite your hesitancy, you get up and open the door. It's just Dave, and Jake is hiding in the closet, so everything should be fine.

You're shocked at the sight before you. Dave's not wearing his shades. His eyes are blood-shot, matching the color of his irises. Was he...crying? His hair was messy and he was still wearing his red pajamas.

"Oh my god, Dave? What happened?" You pull him inside and sit him on the couch. "Wow, you look awful! I'm sorry, but..." You don't finish your sentence and just wait for him to speak.

His breathing is hitched, and he's leaning on his knees. It takes him a while to collect himself and speak. "You, um, do you...did I ever mention my bro?"

"Yeah, once or twice, you were never really open to talking about him. Does this have to do with him? Is he okay?" You hear a thud from the hallway and a string of odd, unique curse words. You and Dave look over to find that Jake fell out of his hiding spot.

Dave, surprisingly, is the first to speak. "Jake? W-what are you doing here?"

Your gaze moves between Jake and Dave. They know each other? You struggle for words and end up making no sense at all. "You...he...what? How? Bro? What? Dave, what's going on?"

Jake stares at Dave. "Oh, um, hey there...how's life, Strider?"

Dave looks at you, and hesitates before answering your question. "Well, you see, English here was...uh...dating Bro."

Thousands of thoughts race through your mind. Bro was Dirk? Jake killed Dave's bro? Jake...left you for...

You get up and walk over to Jake. You glare at him before picking him up by the collar and slapping him as hard as you can. "You left me for my best friend's fucking BROTHER!?" You are livid. You feel like killing him, but you definitely have more restraint than him. You immediately regret thinking that. You went a bit far there.

You press your fingers to your forehead and slowly breath to calm yourself down. You're so focused on bringing down your temper, you almost don't hear Dave.

"Woah, wait, wait, wait! You and him? You two? Really? Then why is he here now? Oh my god, were you cheating on Bro with John?" Dave stayed planted in his spot, eyes wide.

You look back up at Dave, with a look that said, "are you fucking kidding me?" You don't have the patience to deal with this whole relationship triangle shit. Where was Karkat and his shipping grids when you needed him?

You mentally punch yourself for bringing up yet another ex. You move back to the couch next to Dave. "No, he's not. Two years ago he left me. All I knew was that he 'loved' someone else, and that he was leaving to go live with him and they lived happily fucking ever after. Thanks for making me bring that up. Why did you come here?"

Dave returns to his previous position, elbows on his knees and slouching over. He must have been avoiding the topic. "I'm pretty sure Jake hasn't heard yet, seeing as he's been here with you. I, um, the police...they came to my apartment today. They said..." his body begins to shake and you can tell he's trying to hold back tears, "they said that Bro was killed..."

You do your best to pretend this is new news to you. "God, Dave, I'm so sorry!" You place a hand on his back, and he finally breaks. His sobs rack his body.

You are surprised, though, when you hear soft hiccups from the hallway. Is Jake...crying?

You walk over to him and pull him over to the couch, sitting him down on the other side of you. "Jake?"

"I'm such a friggin' idiot! I left him all alone... Do you have any idea how dangerous our neighborhood is? Sure, Dirk is strong, but there's so many break-ins where we live. I told him to be careful...I shouldn't have left at all."

Dave looks up a bit, pulling himself together. "Why did you leave?"

Jake paused for a bit. You assume he's picking his words carefully. "I had some suspicions. Well, not even suspicions so much. I know he did it. I needed time to think things over, so I left."

"Jake? What did he do?" Dave seems hesitant, like he doesn't want to know the answer.

"He cheated on me."

"So you decided to come here and cheat on him? Make the score even? Real classy, you little shit!"

You nearly get crushed as Dave lunges for Jake, but instead you get dragged along, sandwiched between the fighting men. You yell at the both of them and finally you pull them apart. It's not too difficult, considering your students fight all the time.

When you look at the too of them you notice Dave is unharmed. Jake must not have fought back. His lip is busted and a bruise was starting to flower beneath his cheekbone.

"Dave, sit on the couch and shut up! Jake, go to the bedroom. I'll do all the explaining!" You pick up the both of them and shove them towards their respective destinations. Jake begrudgingly leaves the room, leaving the two of you alone. You sit down next to Dave and take a deep breath. "Dave, I promise, nothing happened between Jake and I since he got here. He just wanted some advice. I told him that he should give the guy another chance since it was the first time he caught him. I told him he could stay here while he thought things through."

Dave refuses to meet your eyes. "The police said they think it was Jake..."

"Do you believe them? I mean, Jake wasn't even there."

"You're the only one who can vouch for him, and believe me when I say I trust you. I just, don't know what to think. I know Jake would never do it on purpose. If he did, I know it was an accident." Dave gives you a small sad smile. "Rose told me it's not good to hold on to this, so I've come to terms with it. Forgiven that person, I guess."

You wonder for a second if you should tell him. On one hand, he said he forgave Jake. On the other, it's not your secret to tell. "If you found him, would you report him?"

"Oh hells yes! Just because I got over my anger, doesn't mean the son of a bitch doesn't deserve to rot in a cell." The two of you sit quietly for a while before he stands up. "Hey, I know I didn't talk much, but still, thanks for being there for me." You tell him it's no problem and he leaves, probably to get some sleep.

You look at your watch: April 13; 10:27.

You run to your room and quickly throw on some nicer clothes. Jake just looks at you in confusion as you grab your briefcase, keys, and phone.

"Where are you going?" he asks.

"Work. I'm late!" You rush out of your house, but quickly open the door again. "Don't answer the door for anyone, even if you know them. Lock the door once I leave. Behave yourself!" You close the door and hop in your car. You're not going to hear the end of it from your boss.

== Jake: Entertain yourself while John is at work...whatever it is that he does.

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A/n- This seems choppy. Is this choppy? I'm sorry. Someone revoke my fanfic license :( This next update (if anyone reviews by then) won't be posted until the twelfth, possible later. The latest will be the twenty-eighth. Sorry :S Please review, follow, and/or favorite!


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